The "Gay" Cereal!

THE “GAY” CEREAL!

by Leon Howard

Ken Powell, the CEO for General Mills cereals, has put to rest what the big “G” on all their boxes of cereal is for – I always thought it was their trademark for “G”eneral Mills but now we know it stands for “Gay”!

On behalf of General Mills, Mr. Powell stated the big “G” is opposed to the Traditional Marriage Initiative on Minnesota’s November Ballot, but, he assured us, this was not a ‘political stand’ because …. “General Mills doesn’t normally take positions on ballot measures; this is a business issue that impacts our employees,” said Ken Charles, General Mills vice president of diversity.

Let me understand the stupid justification General Mills is using: This isn’t a political decision but a ‘business issue that impacts their employees’ …. Sorry; that goes completely over this Okie’s head – What did he just say? Their employees will be impacted if they don’t accept ‘gay marriage’? How will this decision being made by the voters of Minnesota ‘impact’ their employees? One theory is that they felt this was necessary for General Mills to remain ‘competitive’ – Competitive with whom?

Anything else makes absolutely no sense but this is nonsense! To ‘remain competitive’, General Mills is counting on the gays to replace all of the folks who now buy General Mills cereals – Perhaps Messrs. Powell and Charles should use a little basic math; not the “dumbed-down” math schools shovel out today. General Mills is counting on 2% of the population to buy as much or more General Mills cereals that 100% of the population buys now! Duh-h-h-h!

Anything is possible but this is a stretch and will require a very aggressive advertising campaign and a complete repackaging design of their cereals.

Here are a few “free” ideas because my family will not be buying anymore big “G” cereals – I will never be able to look at another Cherrios without realizing why it is shaped like a donut hole!

The Silly Trix Rabbit can be redressed in a tutu and the motto can be reworded: “Silly Rabbit, TRIX Are For Kids of Gay Parents!”

The “Onion” dreamed up a good “repackaging” for BuzzBee (Honey Nut Cherrios) to give him a ‘richer backstory’ with the twist that he was physically abused by his controlling, “fundamentalist” Christian father – Just the kind of story I want my grandchildren learning about for their breakfast cereal! If you want to read this “tongue-in-cheek” article, go to: http://www.theonion.com/articles/general-mills-gives-honey-nut-cheerios-bee-intense,28181/

The Leprechaun will be more of a challenge because the “little people” don’t like to be associated with controversy; they have enough trouble getting people to believe they exist but it is possible unless General Mills feels it would be a “ … business decision that impacts their employees!” One idea would be to make it two Leprechauns of the same sex explaining how they had fallen in love under the rainbow of stars and moons of Lucky Charms and now were living ‘happily ever after’!

Another idea for General Mills would be to reshape their cereals for a more ‘gay’ appeal – Nothing would have to be done to Cherrios because they already have a gay appeal shape and with the heart shaping the front of the box speaks loads for gay marriage!

I am so sick and tired of these ‘gay activists’ and their ‘in-your-face’ attitude to try and force their lifestyle on the predominately heterosexual society! In Muslim societies, homosexuals are executed for no other reason than they are homosexual! But, because of our Judeo/Christian upbringing, we are being intimidated, belittled and called “homophobes” because we do not recognize homosexual marriage!

It has been my experience that the ‘gay activist’ is what Karl Marx termed “useful idiots” – They think they are going to be part of the ‘way things will be’ when in reality, they will be nothing more than slaves to the money changers, along with everybody else not in the elite oligarchy so I pity them because they are pathetic!

There is nothing ‘special’ about being a homosexual, no more than being heterosexual except that heterosexuals are accepted in all societal circles and homosexuals are excluded in most societal circles. Christians and Jews tolerate homosexuality because we are not to “judge”; that is God’s purview, not humans. That is as it should be but do not try  and change the meaning of a word and ceremony with 6,000 years of history to make yourself seem more acceptable to the whole society – It will not work, even if you are successful in changing it on the law books! We want nothing to do with your lifestyle!

Here’s a suggestion: Why don’t you locate a piece of land or large island and start your own nation of homosexuals? Create your own Island of Lesbos and leave us alone! General Mills can make your cereal there.